Another day by the pool, unfortunately spoilt by the entire population of the Algarve’s under 12s descending into the youth hostel grounds. This pack of reprobates was left to the charge of two young Portuguese women and what can only be described as a fat man-woman with a shaved beard and a serious limp. I couldn’t work out how old she was (I struggled with her sex as well) but she commanded little respect from these kids who spent the entire day winding her up, egging her on and taking the piss out of her facial growth.
Leaving my towel on my sun-lounge in true German fashion I left to fix myself some lunch, which was my daily meal of bread and tomatoes. Upon my return the bearded man-woman had taken it upon herself to keep my towel warm by spreading her fat self across my sun-lounge. When I indicated that she was in my space she grunted but didn’t move. OK, so she could keep the sun-lounge but I wanted my towel back. It was still clean but she was sweating all over it, spreading her beard germs. I tugged at the towel from underneath her but she grabbed it, as if playing some game. “Give me the towel you damn freak”, I muttered with a scowl and eventually she let go. Talking dogs and bearded man-woman weirdoes. This place was getting more strange by the day.