I’d just like to add a quick hello to my new friend, Buster. It was lovely to hear from you, B. I really appreciate the lovely things you said about me. You may be a bit of an old codger these days, without any knackers, but I think that you are still extremely attractive. I hope you like the photos of me that my Dad has put up on the website this week. I’ve kept your letter and would love to hear from you again.
I’ve got my dad to add in Buster’s email, below.
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My “Mum and Dad” showed me some photos of you. Wow, what a pretty little dish. My name is Buster and I have been encouraged to put paw to paper and send you a short note. We certainly have something in common, we both had a tough start to life. I prowled the gardens of Bristol, getting the odd kick and constantly being screamed at by some unfriendly humans. One day another “nice lady” took a shine to me and brought me back to her home. I had a nasty operation which put paid to my constant courting of tarty females. I must have sired many an offspring in my youth!
For a time life was perfect. I was allowed to sleep on beds and roll on white carpets, would you believe? Then one day I heard a shrill cry and then continuous screaming. A tiny human baby had taken over the affections of my owner. I became very stressed, my fur started to fall out all over the white carpets. I was quickly booted out of the comfortable home and had to sleep in a shed at the bottom of the garden. What had I done to deserve this? My owner’s loving character changed overnight, I was shouted at whenever I tried to creep into the house. Milly, please do not weep. This story has a happy ending.
One day an older “Nice lady” took pity on me and brought me across the lands to a strange town and even stranger house. There was a certain smell about the place. I could not work it out. There were noises – “Woof, Woof, Woof” At night I would find some mates to talk to and they said the sounds came from an animal called a DOG. Beware of DOGS, they said. They are not friendly and will chase you. It was not long before I experienced this. My new owner had tried to keep me away from the dreaded DOG, but it was inevitable that our paths would cross.
So I had a cunning plan. The garden next door looked inviting. There were good smells and laughter would drift over to me as I sat on the garage roof. Right, I would take my chance, so one day I sprang down from my “look out” into the inviting garden, full of beautiful flowers, and no dogs. I went up to the first human sitting in the garden and purred very sweetly. He picked me up , held me gently, whispered sweet nothings into my ear. This continued to happen for a couple of days, then this affectionate man showed me to the woman he loved deeply. She too cooed in my ear and said some silly words, like “who’s a furry darling?” etc.
I fell in love with these good people. They gave me much love and attention. I got used to them picking me up. I had been a little hesitant to begin with. I was allowed to sleep in a box outside their back door. I made sure I gave them a pitiful look every morning when they opened the door. Eventually the “extra nice lady” decided to take me in with permission of my owner who was very occupied with the nasty DOG and did not seem to mind. I was given a warm bed, plenty of food and “the extra kind lady” even gave me lots of kisses. I was a bit embarrassed, but decided to put up with this if this was to be my new life.
Now this happened many years ago. I am now elderly, slightly deaf, have arthritis and have to be careful with my diet.( ShSh I have bowel problems, you know) BUT I still have an eye for a pretty lady and you are gorgeous. So can I be your penpal? I am very wise and can teach you a few lessons in life. I have never been on the strange things in the water. You call them BOATS. I think I am too old now for such things, but I have had adventures. If we meet in the future, I will share them with you. So go back to sleep Milly, beware of the water, and make the most of all that love and attention you get from your “Mum and Dad” and put those dainty paws over your beautiful ears when they swear at each other!
Bye for now.