Ricky Ticky Tavi

My Mum and Dad have been on at me for not writing anything since we left Turkey, but I’ve been busy, and they write so much there’s nothing left for me to write about. They even stole my favourite topic, FISH, and wrote about all their fishing successes. What they failed to mention, of course, is how I actually lure the fish to Esper with my witchy, feline, telepathic senses, so all their successes are really mine. I don’t like to gloat – it’s so vulgar – so I let them believe that they are brilliant at fishing (snigger, snigger).

The rally was quite interesting; the best part, of course, was the Red Sea, where we caught game fish every day. I mean, I didn’t think it was possible to get tired of fresh tuna and dorado – well, it isn’t actually.

I spent the entire voyage on Esper; I didn’t get off after we left Egypt, not even for a swim. When we eventually arrived in Cochin, they congratulated themselves for about three days. I don’t know what the fuss was all about. I mean, we’re on a boat, boats sail, we sailed to India, that’s what boats do. Anyway, when we got there, I jumped straight off and explored. That’s what we’re here for, isn’t it? Not just sitting around on each other’s boats drinking and eating.

India’s quite hot and has lots of different animals to Turkey. There are loads of birds as big as me. I took some of the smaller beasties back to show them. Mum really appreciated the bat I brought her one night, when she was on the boat alone. I heard about snakes in Turkey from some of my friends, but I never saw one. Here, they’re all over the place! I saw one being chased by a ‘mongoose’ (which didn’t look anything like a duck), but I leave them alone –snakes and mongeeses. If I’m honest, they both scare me a bit.

The big mice here are more ferocious than the ones back home, but I can still out-scare them. I left a dead one on the carpet in the saloon one night for them, but they said I mustn’t bring any more on board. Apparently it is my ‘job’ to keep these extra big mice off the boat. My job? They say I’m a princess and have even made a throne for me on deck. There’s no logic to these people. According to Mum, royalty are paid to sit around and do what they like all I day, so I don’t see why I should earn my keep. Ha, got you there, clever parents!

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