In India It’s Always The Woman’s Fault

Darshan and Nikitha

Darshan and Nikitha

Homepage of the BBC News website today: Indian actress banned from the Kannada Film Producers Association for having an affair with south India’s action hero actor, Darshan. Apparently she has spoiled “the domestic harmony of a fellow actor”.

Of course she has, she’s a woman. It’s always the woman’s fault when a man has an affair behind his wife’s back. Nikhita Thukral should be stoned. In fact she almost was…

It’s irrelevant that Ms Thukral consistently denies these allegations. It’s irrelevant that Ms Thukral was never asked for her side of the story when the ban was issued. It’s irrelevant that Darshan’s wife contacted the police after an argument where he allegedly beat his wife up and threatened her with a gun. I do like the way beating one’s wife up and threatening her with a gun is described simply as an ‘argument’.

Darshan was arrested but his wife withdrew the accusations. Meanwhile supporters of Darshan congregated in their hundreds in Bangalore, the capital of Karnataka state, wielding rocks, though it’s not clear who they wanted to stone. Probably Ms Thukral for being a goading hussy.

Apparently “if Nikhita [Thukral] apologises for her behavior and says she will just work in films and not get involved in domestic affairs of fellow actors, we will withdraw the ban,” said a KFDA spokesperson. Or was it a spokesman?

Ms Thukral was quoted as asking “There’s nothing between us beyond a professional relationship. If Darshan has a problem with his wife, how am I responsible?”.

Well that’s a matter of opinion. It’s irrelevant whether you did or did not have an affair and it’s irrelevant that Mr Darshan has marital problems. The fact is you are a woman and you are Indian. It must be your fault.

And you wonder why Liz and I are involved in charities like the Sambhali Trust.

Read more: Darshan arrested for firing at his wife.

Read more: BBC’s report.

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7 Comments on “In India It’s Always The Woman’s Fault”

  1. Get in there Jamie. Despite their misogyny being deplorable, at least they are up front about it, unlike, I have to say, most of the rest of world. I know many examples of marital disharmony where another woman is apparently ‘the cause’. It is, after all, not so very long ago that widely accepted Christian doctrine was that women did not really have a soul in the same way as man, and was considered to be a temptation sent from the devil. It seems to me that a pretty common male stance on women, even amongst some of my male friends is that a woman is a kind of annoying distraction with benefits! They may say this in a popular culture kind of jokey way but still ….

    1. Yes, and as Liz reminds us it’s been less than a hundred years since women in England have had the vote (let’s not forget the ever present glass ceiling as well). The transparency of India is a fair point. The other day I warned a photography acquaintance to be careful at Mumbai airport where customs notoriously ask for backhanders to get expensive goods through. “Great”, he replied, “I like countries like that. At least you know where you stand, unlike the cloak-and-dagger corruption of the UK”. He has a point. Still, for an organisation like the Kannada Film Producers Association to take this stance so publicly perfectly illustrates how far women in India have to go before being accepted as equals.

  2. I am Indian, and I do agree that women don’t really have a say, but it is still better than most of the islamic countries. And the problem is with the psychy of the guys. For example Indian guys would date an independent girl, work with her, sleep with her, but as soon as the girl agrees to consumate she becomes a slut. Wife would be someone whose a virgin chosen by mother dearest who can cook n clean and give birth to his offsprings. And these people are so called educated from the highest institutions from the country. So hypocrisy is a second nature here.

    1. Thanks for the comment Ri.

      I do agree that some of the Arabic countries are worse. There is still a long way to go and equality in the west only hangs by a thin thread for many women: it’s a fairly recent phenomenon. I know men who would love to have a similar arrangement to less enlightened parts of the world when it comes to ‘their’ women. We still have battered wives, glass ceilings, pay disparity and general misogyny in the UK.

  3. india is the one of country which lives many relation’s . and lives haapy , but some country’s ban for woman things .. and they does not love like a man, always muslim girl feel this ban, but india and some country’s always give a freedom to a girl ,

    here are many muslim girl’s marrige with a other relation , we can see a bollywood stars they also did it ,


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