I Have Wet Pants

You’ll be pleased to know I own about 15 pairs of underpants. That’s enough to avoid doing any washing for two weeks, four if I turn them inside out. Being the new-age man that I am I do my own washing, which is a royal pain in the ass since it has to be done by hand, and as the marina refuses to provide any kind of laundry service I have to undertake this task regularly.

Recently, however, it is not the washing of the underpants that is causing me the grief. It is the damn monsoon. A week ago I washed seven of my underpants, leaving me another seven to see me through the week. I hung those seven pairs of underpants out to dry seven days ago and for seven days now it has rained incessantly, every day. Seven days later and I now have another seven pairs of underpants to wash, and since the first seven never dried, I had to wash all 14 pairs.

It is a sad day today as Liz leaves to return to the UK for two months. Perhaps then this unfortunate washing endeavor is well timed!



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13 thoughts on “I Have Wet Pants”

  1. I have a theory-I understand one’s body loses large amounts of heat through the head, so the simple answer is to spray two pairs of pants with insect repellent and put them on your head(one fore & after and one sideways)just before retiring for the night. This kills two birds with one stone-it dries out two pairs during the night and keeps the mossies at bay. You just have to pray that no-one pops over to see you during the night hours as you would probably be locked up as certifiable!

  2. Lie 4 pairs on a towel, fold over to make nice shape, put on Millies bed so she will dry them as she sleeps. Repeat as necessary. Added benefit will be the scent of cat will keep the rats away from certain sensitive areas

    1. I’m encouraged to see that both Nigel and Gary, being the liveaboards that they are, are coming up with the most creative yet practical solutions. Cheers chaps.

  3. Go commando and wipe properly! OR, when I go travelling I just wear bikini bottoms (you could try that or wear trunks). Point is, they can be washed in the shower and dry quickly. Or you could just get used to being damp, after all, I guess the rest of your clothes are also damp?

    1. Kat, I’ve got enough shirts and t-shirts to last me months. Maybe if I bought another 50 pairs of pants I could get away with only ever having to do my washing once every two months?

  4. Liz’s knickers is a silly idea – they will be far too big for you and probably slip down is the market place causing embarrassment.

    Being in the monsoon season is a bit like sailing in a British summer, so this was my solution… All you need is to warm a frying pan on the gas, after a good wringing, give them five mintues a side. Out they pop, warm cosy and dry. A few tips…. don’t use any kind of fat or oil, they will become very crispy: don’t try this with nylon pants, they will also become very crispy.

    If you do this before you fry your bacon it adds a certain nutty flavour.

  5. Jamie – the answer is obvious.
    As Liz is away you can now legitimately wear her pants and have a reasonable excuse when she finds out.
    You have been waiting for this opportunity for years.

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