How to argue and still be friends

how to argue

How can you argue and still be friends on a boat? If you and your partner are thinking of moving onto a sailboat for a full-time cruising life, this is a question you should be thinking about. If you don’t get to grips with the enormity of being stuck together in a small space 24/7, it could be the end of the dream.

We have been known to argue and bicker on SY Esper and have even filmed ourselves bickering on camera. It’s no secret that this back and forth is part of our relationship.

The latest episode, set in an anchorage along the coast of Kota Belud, is mostly about remaining friends on board through thick and thin. Appropriate, perhaps, that we have been listening to old episodes of ‘Friends’ in the background over the last week or so…

So how do we remain friends?

We share our experiences and offer some advice about the often overlooked side of setting out on a life at sea with your partner. Relationships can present all kinds of problems in these unique circumstances which we don’t always think about beforehand. Much of what we say applies to groups of friends/salties, not just life partners.

And we wonder whether living 24/7 in such a tiny home on water is more difficult than living on land. What special problems do we face on a sailboat that ‘lubbers don’t have to worry about? And vice versa?

This last year of lock-downs, panics and restrictions has made us sadder than in pre-pandemic times. And now that we are going through another harsh lock-down in Malaysia (we’re basically back where we were a year ago) we recognise that there are still tough times ahead.

How to argue and still be friends on a boat

The Coconut Telegraph

This cartoon from our cruiser friend, Sarah Steenland, “The Cruising Cartoonist” appears briefly in the episode, but we thought it deserved an outing here too. We reckon every cruising couple will recognise this particular moment well.

Would (or does) your relationship survive full-time life on a small sailboat? Tell us your secret for success.

Putting these videos and blog posts together gives us structure to our weeks and really keeps us going. So thank you for being with us and taking an interest, it really cheers us up.

Click on the link below for the full video.

Thanks for popping along!

Peace and fair winds
Liz and Jamie

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