VALENTINE’S SPECIAL

Page 12

portholenews@gmail.com

HorrorScopes

by Krystal Balls

 

Alpharius

Try a new look this year, beards are back in, you may be surprised how it looks on you.

 

Bravio     

If it doesn’t work for you, stop doing it.

 

Charlius  

You will be visited by a strange person, do what they tell you without question.

 

Deltacorn

Nudity has it’s place.  This is not it.!

 

Echorius 

Hiya!

 

Foxtrotus

This could be your chance for greater things, but I doubt it.

 

Golfo       

Sorry about last week.  Did you get over it yet?

 

Hotelsius

It’s people like you who give the rest of us a chance with the opposite sex, keep it up I like it.

 

Indies      

What did I tell you, if you don’t put it down it won’t heal.

 

Juliettra

Thanks for being so nice.

Limacorn

Nip over to Deltacorn and catch a glimpse, they’re all naked.

 

Mikeces  

Something surprising is going to happen to you soon,  BOO!!!

 

Novemberus

I forgot to tell you your lottery numbers last week, sorry, you would have won.

 

Oscra      

Watch out for Jamie on Esper, he’s on heat again.

 

Papacorn

Now is the time for a quiet cup of tea and a biscuit, next week you will need the energy.

 

Hardus   

Sssshhhh!  They’ll hear you.

 

Netselarius

We love you, why not?  You’re almost human too.  Just keep banging those rocks together.

 

VICARS AND TARTS PARTY

14th February

Anyone who has been to a Yacht Marina party will know how good they can be and Vicars and Tarts will be one of the best ever. This year we’ve pulled out all the stops and have, up for grabs, some incredible prizes for the best dancers, including a romantic candle-lit meal for two in the restaurant amongst other wonderful prizes…..to be announced.

 

Cross-dressing is encouraged as prizes are awarded to the best dressed man and best dressed woman. The ‘crown’ for the evening will be presented to the winner of the Miss Marmaris Yacht Marina Beauty Pageant.
Text Box: DOT By Terry of ‘Reality’   Dot is the most precious person in my life. I love her dearly. Dot is my wife, my best friend, soul-mate and all else you would want someone to be. Dot has been here through the realisation of my dreams. I love Dot to bits. When we left the UK July 2004 at 6pm, a force 6 was in its infancy and we knew we would be in for our first taste of rough weather. We wanted to experience it from the beginning, on our Bavaria 12.8 metre Yacht, Reality ltd. Dot spent the first night to Southern Ireland totally incapacitated through sea sickness. I’m fortunate, I do not suffer from seasickness at all. We had not sailed before and I thought our adventure would end before it started. I could not put Dot through this again. I was devastated, perhaps having the worst fears I was going to experience throughout our trip. We arrived in Rosslaire at noon the next day. Dot came out on deck from the saloon where she had suffered for eighteen hours. We could now at least talk. Dot had been unapproachable and had not wanted to talk. Even when I had offered to pull in and anchor off Nefyn, to get some shelter from the South Westerly and get some protection from the rough sea. Dot angrily replied “Get on with it, leave me alone” .The crossness in her voice shocked me; I had never seen Dot like this before. The South westerly came round to a North Westerly during the night giving us a much better sail. Realising later, had we anchored off Nefyn we would have been worse off.  We ate lunch, let go the lines and then sailed to Kilmore Quay. On arrival we went ashore, obtained fried fish and chips from the town’s chippy. Fed and happy we retired and caught up on missed sleep. After breakfast next morning Dot appeared on deck in wets and life jacket, announced “Come on then, if we are going to do this, lets get on”. Over the next few weeks the wrist bands with the plastic balls, which rest on a pressure point believed to cure sea sickness, and the pills were to disappear. Dot still gets a little queasy but nothing like that first night, even though we have experienced much rougher seas..    For every mile she gives me a smile. Happy Valentine’s, Dot. Love you loads. Terry

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